Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
