You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
