i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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