Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I haven't been this sober since birth.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
