so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
