my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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