yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
