oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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