my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
