I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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