we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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