he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
