What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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