I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
