Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
