I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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