Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
