I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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