You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
