Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
