My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
handjob tips. give me some.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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