I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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