I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
