I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Barsexuality is the new black.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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