my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Randomize
