Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
