I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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