Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you didnt know i had herpes?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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