If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This baby is an asshole
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
