did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
