Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
