He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
