i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
