ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
