I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
