Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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