so explain again why im purple
no
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
