Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
