I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
