i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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