I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
