Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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