she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
