I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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