Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
