I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
