If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
