I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
