so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We got so high we made milksteak
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
