you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
